Where parents are heard.
A three-month journey in a small circle of parents, with Julie Lam
You want the best for your child. But it can often feel as though doing your best means doing more: another class or tutor, another book or course with a new method for how to handle your child.
Your child may be tired and anxious, pushing back or shutting down. Evenings might turn into battles over homework, and dinner times are stressful. You feel rushed most of the time and usually half in and half out of conversations. You are already thinking about what needs to happen next and how long it is all going to take. You go to bed at night, despairing, wondering if you’re doing too much, not enough or getting it all wrong.
Caught on the see-saw
Permissive or pushy? Up and down, round and round. Somewhere along the way you entered the children’s playground yourself, and now you can’t find your way out.
You try to speak gently. A soft voice and careful words, a choice offered instead of a no. But it feels like a mask, and the boundaries you meant to hold begin to slip. Your child is still anxious and often erupts in outbursts or tears, leaving you both exhausted.
Then something tips. The last straw, and your voice rises before you can catch it. Or someone tells you that what’s missing is firmer boundaries, so you lay down the law, and you begin to shout. The see-saw drops suddenly and you land with a hard bump.
Then comes the guilt, and you jump onto the swings – trying once more with a different strategy and approach.
And every time, your child is on the ride with you.
Presence
You may have read about being more present. What you want is simple: a connection with your child that you both enjoy, and trust in what you already know about them.
You try to be more mindful, and in the hard moments you hope that if you fake it, you’ll make it.
But presence can’t be manufactured. It’s already in you. You’ve only lost touch with it.
The Present Parent Practice
A journey through childhood, yours and your child’s
Many of us became who we needed to be, and our own wise voice grew harder to hear. Yet it truly was never lost.
Over three months together we travel through the natural development cycle – from early years to young adulthood. In each phase we look two ways: towards our children and what they need from us now, and towards the child we once were – from the heart of the adult we are now. As we revisit each phase of childhood with warmth and curiosity, old patterns soften, and we can meet our children from a steadier and more beautiful place.
What happens when we gather
Each week we meet online in a small circle. There’s a warm welcome, a theme from the phase we’re exploring, and time for stories from our lives. You can share or simply listen. No one has to get it right, and we are not there to fix each other.
As each person is truly heard, insights arrive that none of us would have found alone. Here you come to feel presence again: what it is to be met and held in it, and to recognise it as a natural state you carry within.
And then the ripple begins. You carry presence home to your children, and out into every part of your life. And you receive too, from the very presence you’re now able to offer.
Between gatherings there are gentle practices that can be experienced in everyday family life.
A spiral, not a straight line
Each group travels through the same phases of childhood, yet no two groups are ever the same. Different parents bring different stories. And each time you come, you’re a little different too, with a child who has grown. You bring new perceptions and insights, and so do the other parents.
This is how we naturally learn. We hear something, we think it over, we let it settle, we live it, and then we come back to it with new eyes. Each time round, the same themes open a little further, through the body, the heart and the mind, and into intuitive insight. It’s less like a straight line and more like a spiral: not a set of techniques, but doorways to your own wisdom.
You’re welcome to join for as many rounds as you like.
What begins to change
This is a living process, nothing mysterious or extraordinary: simple, clear guidance that you experience rather than study. When presence comes, it isn’t new. You recognise it, and with it the nature of your own wisdom, and all that you already have access to.
Over the three months, you may find:
- You meet your child where they are, and sense what this particular child needs today
- Boundaries come from a steady place, so they hold without your anger or fear
- The calm is real rather than a mask, and your child can feel the difference
- Homework and dinner become time together instead of a battleground, and you’re fully there
- You choose classes and activities with confidence, not out of fear of falling behind
- After a hard moment, you find your way back to connection without the spiral of guilt
- You go to bed trusting what you know, instead of lying awake wondering
- You listen in a new way, to your children and your partner
- New friendships with parents who share your values
The Present Parent Practice – Group
- Three months of weekly live online gatherings
- A small circle of parents
- Gentle practices and resources between gatherings
- £600 for the three months
If you’d like private support alongside the group, we can talk about it in your free conversation.
The Present Parent Circle
A live circle once a month. Currently Thursday, at 8pm UK time or 5.30–6.30pm Hong Kong time.
You receive a personal Companion sheet and reflections after each circle to carry you through.
£30 a month, for as long as you wish.
“Something special happens when we are given a genuine space to talk freely… Speaking without judgment, without interruption, without advice. These are all true gifts. In Connected Presence circles, you are also listened to. Everyone there is committed to witness, and listens not only in quiet response but in loving warmth.”
“Participating in this course, I really experienced the shift of arriving at my own insights and no longer feeling so confused by different and conflicting advice.”
“This course is a radical shift from all the parenting coaching I have previously done. I finally feel that what I am discovering is the thing that is going to stick, and my relationships with the children are starting to feel real and rewarding.”
Questions
My child is already a teenager. Have I left it too late?
No. Each phase has its own gifts, and teenagers sense the difference quite quickly as your interactions take on a different energy.
Couldn’t I do this on my own, with books or instructions?
Books are a lovely beginning. But some things are discovered together, and when the pressure returns, it helps to have people beside you.
Does this mean taking my child out of things, or changing schools?
No one will push you to make changes that don’t feel right. You discover what your child needs, within the life you already have.
Will we be looking at my own childhood?
Gently, yes, because the patterns we carry often shape how we respond. But the focus stays on the here and now without having to endlessly revisit difficult memories.
Is this therapy?
No. It’s a practice of presence, listening and reflection, and not a replacement for clinical support.